OMGOMG.
Let's see. 3 more days till school reopens, 7 more assignments to do still. ARGHH FUCKK!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Shit shit shit.
It's 2:29 AM already..
Ha.
Things not going well.
Anyway I think this skin's gettin old, I'll change it anytime soon. Andd after that skin maybe I'm shifting everything to my domain, so yeahh I'll let u guys link me again. =) Don't worry I think it'll take some time.
Ok ermm and thenn...k nth else.
Bye.
It's 11:50 PM already..
Hmm.
I saw desmond's blog and started to think about myself also. About how I've changed, about my life and things around me. Probably to see how I'm doing, or rediscoving myself like desmond said.
So what thing changed? I realised that I don't bathe for more than half an hour anymore. I think I don't care about myself as much as before. I used to love going town with my friends. I don't really appreciate things like I always do last time. Games isn't really everything to me now; I don't know what is.
I don't know, but I think mostly why I behave now partly is due to friends or the people around me. I started to bathe faster coz I wanna get online quick every night so that I don't miss any games with my friends. I don't go town often now coz my friends stopped going too.
It's weird, like benzi said, we don't enjoy life as much as we do last time. We thought 18 yrs old should be much more fun then when we're 16. We should have more things to do now than last time since some things are like M18. But it always seem to be the other way around. Things seem to get boring easily, stuffs we do doesn't seem meaningful anymore. It's like we're wasting our life away or smth.
Okayy so what remained the same? I still hate NPCC like I used to. I can't think of anything else at the moment. Memories will never change.
I thought of npcc coz I remember there's a bbq soon. I thought npcc is a super biased CCA. At first it was alright, the first few years. When it get to the last year, when you finally get to become an NCO and get power over things, people just change. They do things behind ppl's back, they want power, and friends doesn't seem to concern them anymore. Talk about being a team and staying united. -.- I see how they throw teammates into groups no one wants to, how they wipe the teachers' & instructors asses, and how they affect others to neglect someone they don't like. It just sucks so much that affect my mindset about going to NS. Anyway, I don't ever feel that I belong or is much needed in that 'team'. I go for trainings coz I thought things might change back for the better(although it didn't), and mainly just for cca points.
Now that they organise such things, not that I don't wanna go, but such memories really are painful. I treat them now like how they treat me last time. I heckcare about them, and I don't really give a fk about what they think. Hmmmm. But maybe I'll go this time, for old time's sake.
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Alright, enought of that. I've much more to say, but I don't know how to put down in words. My language sucks.
Anyway, ahh the air-con's finally repaired. At last it's cold when we on the aircon now. The past few weeks were like so fuckin warm even if we on the aircon.
Andd holidays are finally coming. YAY! But the bad things is, there're holiday assignments. -.- lame laa holidays are not holidays anymore if there're assignments lo. Don't understand why the teachers keep giving homework. Like someone from my sch said (I forgot who), the definition of holidays have changed to "going to school without spending on bus fares". Somewhere along that line la. Haizzz. Fuck man.
It's really shitty laa life's all about homework, gym and stoning, thinking about why I lead such a life or smth. Nothing is really spicing up or what. Maybe I'll buy a guitar with menghee next week to learn. Keep myself occupied during hols lo.
Ohh and being a NAPFA tester is sooo cool. I earn 15 bucks per hour, doingg.....nth! Haha it's like we go there and wait for the people to come, and they're late for an hour, so we earned our first hour waiting, doing nth. After that it's also super slack la when they come. It's good laa earning money like that.
I think my expection of my life is higher laa if not I don't know why I don't enjoy the stuffs i'm doing now. I hope it change soon man I dont wanna move on like that.
Alright, school's like few hours away and I'm still bloggin. Next time thenn. Ciaoo`
It's 2:50 AM already..
Hmmm.
I think alot, but I dont express myself. Maybe it's because I think there's a no need to, because I don't want to, maybe also coz I don't know how.
I always look back on what I did, and I think if it's worth it. Most of the time I regret, sometimes I don't have an answer. I'm easygoing.
I feel relationships are important. Love, friends or family, it's all the same. They're equally important to me. Thing is I don't express, but I still think of it. I seldom talk to my mom if there's nothing important, but I think about it. About if I should go and chat, about what if things happen and there're might not be another chance, about if our relationship will drift and stuffs.
I know what I want, and I try to work for it. But things I work for, it doesn't turn out the way I wanted. And that's when I start to think if it's worth it anymore.
It's hurting. I think my life is fucked up in a way.
I think life is not about success, grades or being perfect. I think it's about memories, happiness and sacrificing for others. I don't want my life to be perfect. Coz I feel bad things that happen make better memories.
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Alright I'm feeling emo. I don't know what I'm talking. Don't care about it.
It's 3:29 AM already..
Heyy, I forgot to tell you guys not to tag in my online portfolio YET coz that site is still undergoing grading by the teachers, so yeah, wait till it's finished first okayy??
Soo, sorry leonard I've deleted your post. Next time then tag again laa okayy? Haha. Don't mind.
But I think DMD students can tag if you want to. Not for outsiders for the moment laaa hope it's okayy with you all haha. Thankss.
It's 12:35 AM already..